The four-ears model by Schultz von Thun

The four-ear model is a communication model developed by Friedemann Schulz von Thun. The communication scientist assumes that the sending and receiving of a message always takes place in four ways.

The four sides of a message
The four-ear model therefore assumes that every statement contains four messages and can also be understood in four different ways, or levels.
The following four messages are part of every message:

1. The factual content: The factual content side indicates what the sender of the message is informing about. This is purely about conveying information. At the factual level, we initially provide information about facts. The recipient only decides whether the factual content is true or false and relevant or irrelevant.
2. The appeal: The appeal expresses what the sender expects from the recipient. Hardly anything is said just like that; almost every message has the function of influencing the recipient. The message therefore serves to convey to the recipient to do or not to do something specific. At the appeal level, wishes, appeals, tips or even instructions can be given.
3. The relationship: The relationship side contains information on how the sender relates to the recipient. This becomes clear in the way the message is formulated and the language used. Gestures and facial expressions emphasize this side. The relationship level can be communicated clearly or hidden. If the recipient hears the message on the relationship ear, he may feel respected, criticized or despised, for example.
4. Self-revelation: This side indicates what the sender reveals about themselves. The sender always reveals something about themselves in the message, such as their feelings, views and needs. This self-revelation can be either intentional or unintentional.

So you can see that the sender covers all four sides of the message in their statement and that these four sides also reach the recipient.

The four-ears model applied to an example
The four-ears modelapplied to an example: Timo asks his mother to cook him his favorite meal again. While eating, he asks her: "Have you changed the recipe?"

• Factual content: The dish tastes different than usual.
• Appeal: Please always use the old or the new recipe.
• Relationship: Timo and his mother have a good relationship because he can express his opinion freely.
• Self-revelation: Timo is observant and has noticed a change that he likes or dislikes. According to this, he either likes the food or doesn't like the food.

Next time, look at what the other person has said with different eyes. Have fun discovering.