Children need arguments above all to mark their territory. However, as an adult, this can also drive you up the wall or put you under pressure. A "Stop" or "Stop, there's no arguing here" may provide a quick remedy, but it doesn't seem to be a rosy solution. The need behind the argument remains unresolved.
Disputes often give rise to anger. A feeling that is viewed negatively in our society and is not welcomed in public. However, it is okay for this feeling to be there because it shows the person that their personal boundaries have been reached and should not be crossed or that there are unfulfilled needs. Anger is therefore not a bad state, but helps the person to find out what they actually need. What sounds so simple, however, takes some practice in filtering out. Disputes and anger often go together, but they don't have to.
You're probably familiar with it: in a dispute, we humans often use words that are hurtful and make the other person sad. Anger can then emerge very quickly and it can set off a firework display of words. The best strategy in this situation usually seems to be to retreat. However, it is certainly more effective to understand and discuss the other person's feelings.
This difficult undertaking can now be better resolved with the help of the "Streiti-Teiti game" from Mira and the Flying House. You can download the rules of the game free of charge from the website (Streiti-teiti-spiel_01.indd (shopify.com)). So that you don't have to introduce the topic to your children or grandchildren yourself, it's best to play the valuable and explanatory podcast on the topic of "The Streiti-Teiti game or using word cannons differently". You can also find it free of charge at the following link (MIRA & the Flying House: Season 4 Episode 7: The Streiti-teiti Game - YouTube). The podcast teaches us that all feelings are okay and that there will always be arguments somewhere for some reason. The question is how we deal with it. The point is that we don't always have to agree and we can still love each other. The aim is for neither adults nor children to be afraid of arguments and to be able to check their own and other people's needs. There is always a solution, and if it works for all parties involved, then we have achieved the optimum.
We hope you enjoy practising fair arguments and finding solutions with your children.
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