Divorce and family

What once began with butterflies in the stomach can end in a messy battle. When a couple grows apart over the years or no longer pulls together, there is often only one solution: separation or divorce.
Around 40 percent of marriages in Switzerland end in separation or divorce. For married couples, this step is often a clear step into the future and brings immediate relief. For children, however, it is often a very difficult time when parents split up, and the experience of the offspring is often pushed into the background during the separation process.

Parents' experiences:
During the time of separation or divorce, parents often experience various emotions such as sadness, anger or joy at the new stage in their lives. Issues such as organizing the new everyday life, the upcoming move or worries about money take up a lot of time and require strength. For the children, this often means that the parents are less available for the children's needs.

Children's experience:
Children see their parents' separation phase from a completely different perspective and often lose their balance. This is because basic needs such as security and orientation are shaken and are often uncertain. Children also notice that their parents are having conflicts and are more irritable, and they often associate this with their own behavior.

Children's reactions to their parents' separation or divorce are very individual and depend on their age and stage of development on the one hand, and on the transparent and open manner of their parents on the other. As long as the children's needs are met in the best possible way, the child will feel at ease and have few problems with the situation. Observe your children and pay attention to whether there are any new behavioral problems or whether their school performance is deteriorating. These could be signs that your child needs a little more attention.

It has been shown that the future housing model is not as important for children as knowing who is responsible for them and that they can feel secure in the new place. Children should also continue to have access to familiar caregivers if they are reliable.

Books can provide further support for children during a separation. For example, the children's book "Die Sehnsucht des kleinen Orange" (about 15 Swiss francs) by Judith Zacharias-Hellwig. The family therapist describes the separation of a family very beautifully using the interplay of colors.
The books "Wir bleiben eure Eltern" (about 20 Swiss francs, published by Albarello Verlag) by Julia Volmert and "Flips versteht die Welt nicht mehr: wenn Eltern sich trennen" (about 20 Swiss francs, published by Thielemann-Esslinger Verlag) by Jeanette Randerath are suitable for children aged four and over. Both books also deal with the subject of separation and divorce in a very compassionate way.

Take your child by the hand and continue to go through life with him or her despite the separation.